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A test of character

It's a good thing I know me. I am your go to person for great ideas, an organiser a builder of possibilities, a dreamer, a story teller. However I also can be introverted, highly unsociable, unmotivated, rather lazy and really do not want to push my boundaries or my buttons for that measure. Sometimes I find my place in this world is just to take the easy option, I am comfortable, secure, safe, go to work, pay the bills, humdrum indeed.

Writing has always been for me a way to make sense of the world around me a place to dream and plan. Why on earth I decided to write my memoir I'll never know, it was much easier to just keep writing board reports, work proposals or pages of quirky insights of life in my journals.

My manuscript assessment returned home today and as I sat at my computer distracted by the autumn sun I knew I had to read it and deal with the consequences. Letting your writing go into another's eyes, and one who has experience in these matters is quite daunting, but here I was, the incoming email had pinged at me , the results were in. The feedback was more pleasing than I expected, but then again is that me setting the bar low I wonder. I did chuckle to myself at some parts as I myself knew there was some lazy writing in there, I did get bored with my own story.Interestingly it wasn't my nemesis of tenses which I was really dreading that got me, I really wish I had paid more attention to those sort of things in school. Showing not telling - yes that little gem reared its head. ( sorry Jo )

The best part about reflection and feedback is that you can see the story from others eyes, and it gives you a new perspective. Part of me is rather excited at the way I can enhance and change the story, the other part of me is rather tired of the whole thing, dredging up painful memories. It is here I have to call on a test of character and look at the big picture, adjust a few timelines and move forward.

I am really glad to have my manuscript home , I can return to the comfort of making it better , adjusting the words, showing not telling. The winter months will be coming soon and I can again keep my story close to me , hold my secrets for quite awhile longer.

I know me.

Back to the drawing board

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